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1. (muzej)
(Boris, Nina)
Boris stoji u muzeju moderne umjetnosti pred jednom
apstraktnom slikom, pokraj koje je i mala sjedalica za posjetitelje.
Boris pod rukom ima dnevne novine. Uzme novine, počne ih prelistavati,
pa ih opet spremi pod ruku. Zatim opet uzme novine, pa ih opet počne
prelistavati, pa ih spremi pod ruku. Potom počne gledati sliku na način
da glavu izokreće na lijevu, pa na desnu stranu, jer ima osjećaj da je
slika obješena naopačke.
(U tom trenutku u dvoranu ulazi Nina.)
BORIS: Gdje si ti?
NINA: Nisam mogla pronaći parking, pa sam kružila dva kruga.
BORIS: Zakažeš mi sastanak, a onda kasniš. A znaš
kako ne volim da se nalazimo na javnom mjestu, ovdje u muzeju, mogao bi
me još netko vidjeti.
NINA: Ma daj Boris, znaš da u naše muzeje i tako nitko ne
zalazi. A i da te netko vidi sa mnom ovdje, pomislio bi da je to
slučajni susret dvoje ljudi koji vole slikarstvo.
BORIS: Dobro, slažem se da je od svih javnih mjesta najsigurnije u
muzeju, ali svejedno i ovdje zna zalutati poneko od penzionera na
grijanje. Nikad se ne zna, mogao bi naići neki moj prijatelj, ili
još gore neka prijateljica moje žene i onda... ne smijem ni
pomisliti... ali, naslutio sam zašto me nisi pozvala u svoj mali
stan, u naše ljubavno gnijezdo, naslutio sam zašto nisi
željela da dođem k tebi doma, nego da se nađemo ovdje.
NINA: Doista si naslutio?
BORIS: Jesam, od prve. Znaš da sam ja čovjek intuicije.
NINA: Hvala Bogu, onda će nam i razgovor biti mnogo lakši i
jednostavniji. Smatrala sam da je najbolje da se nađemo baš
ovdje i da o svemu porazgovaramo otvoreno i... i...
BORIS: I evocirajući sve ono što je bilo u proteklih pet godina
u našoj vezi. Trenutke nježnosti... trenutke strasti.
NINA: Da... i to... ali htjela sam reći... moramo napokon...
BORIS: Draga Nina, znam da ti nedostaju riječi da iskažeš sve
što osjećaš prema meni nakon pet godina naše
veze... hoću reći nakon pet godina naše ljubavi... Kad si mi
rekla da želiš da se nađemo ovdje, kad si odbila moj prijedlog
da dođem k tebi, u prvi trenutak sam bio zbunjen, a onda sam se sjetio
- pogledao sam u svoj tajni kalendar s važnim šifriranim
datumima i pronašao da smo ovdje prvi put izišli prije
točno pet godina. I postalo mi je jasno da si željela da obilježimo
našu godišnjicu... to je tako dirljivo i romantično od
tebe.
NINA: Ja u stvari...
BORIS: Skoro sam se rasplakao od pomisli da si se ti sjetila
naše obljetnice, našeg prvog izlaska.
(Boris iz unutrašnjeg džepa izvuče jednu kovertu i pruži je
Nini.)
BORIS: Evo, ovo je za tebe. Mali dar za našu petu obljetnicu.
Izvoli!
NINA: O, Boris, dragi, predivno, ti si mislio na mene, tako si pažljiv.
Nisi žalio ni novca mada znam da nikada nemaš dovoljno novca,
i...
BORIS: Nisam se trošio - to nije materijalni dar, to je duhovni
dar. Napisao sam ti pjesmu, pjesmu o tebi i o nama, u povodu
naše obljetnice.
NINA: A, tako... već sam mislila da si se počeo mijenjati.
BORIS: Hajde, pročitaj je.
NINA: Daj, Boris, možda prvo da porazgovaramo, pa tek onda...
BORIS: Nestrpljiv sam da vidim hoće li ti se svidjeti. Znaš: ja
u mladosti nisam baš puno čitao tu poeziju, književnost mi je
uvijek išla na živce, ta prenemaganja. A i u trgovačkoj
školi taj predmet nije bio u prvom planu, pa ipak: mislim da sam
pjesmu dobro napisao, jer sam je od srca pisao, jer sam ti poželio reći
sve što osjećam, onako od srca... Nisam htio kupovati neki
banalni poklon - neki parfem ili neku narukvicu, znam da moderne
emancipirane žene ne žele taj osjećaj da muškarci na njih
troše konkretan novac, da kupuju njihovu ljubav...
NINA: Pa sad...
BORIS: Znam da emancipirana žena više cijeni darove duha, nego
banalne materijalne potrošačke darove. Hajde već jednom pročitaj
je.
NINA: Ako baš moram.
BORIS: Samo polako čitaj, tako da mogu uživati u boji tvoga glasa, a i
da tebi ništa ne promakne.
NINA: Glupo mi je da ja čitam tvoju pjesmu. Bolje će zvučati ako ti kao
pjesnik meni sada izgovoriš tu pjesmu. Tako to rade pravi
književnici.
BORIS: Stvarno?
NINA: Svakako. Hajde izvoli pjesmu, pa mi je pročitaj.
(Boris počne čitati.)
BORIS: "Pjesma o pet godina ljubavi"
Draga moja ljubavi
Već pet godina živimo
U uzvišenom svijetu emocija
Tajnom pokriveni kao pokrivačem
Od ružinih latica
Naša ljubav tajnom ostati mora
Da nikoga ne bi povrijedila
I mada draža si mi
Od zakonite žene
Ti ljubavnicom mojom vječnom
Moraš ostati
O koliko puta u tvome zagrljaju
Nađoh odmorište od bračne monotonije
Koliko puta osjetih tvoju strast
I tvoju nježnost
Toliko puta ja moram ti reći
Hvala hvala hvala
Jer mom životu
Smisao si dala
Moja slatka mala.
(Trenutak šutnje.)
BORIS: Šta veliš? Jel dobra?
NINA: Pa... je.
BORIS: E baš mi je drago da ti se svidio moj dar, da smo se
ponovo našli ovdje, nakon toliko vremena, mada smo se dogovorili
da budemo oprezni i da ne izlazimo ovdje u našem gradu - gdje mi
žive žena i djeca... ali peta obljetnica zavrjeđuje i malo rizika,
adrenalina...
NINA: Boris, slušaj, nisam se željela s tobom vidjeti ovdje radi
obljetnice.
BORIS: Kako nisi?
NINA: Ja sam na tu obljetnicu zaboravila.
BORIS: Nemoguće!
NINA: Moguće. Nisam željela da dolaziš u moj stan, jer... već
duže vrijeme osjećala sam potrebu da s tobom ozbiljno i otvoreno
popričam o svemu, o nama, o našoj vezi...
BORIS: Kaži!
NINA: Tebi je nadam se stalo do mojih emocija.
BORIS: Apsolutno.
NINA: Nadam se da ti je važno što ja mislim i osjećam.
BORIS: To mi je najvažnija stvar u životu. Tvoji osjećaji su mi važni
koliko i... koliko i moji.
NINA: Ne bih željela da me krivo shvatiš. Teško je naći
riječi, teško je izgovoriti nakon ovih godina, nakon svega
što smo doživjeli... prava riječ uvijek bježi, ali pravu riječ
na kraju... na kraju moramo pronaći, i moramo izgovoriti ono što
moramo izgovoriti, jer je to jedini način da izgovorimo ono što
moramo izgovoriti...
BORIS: Što želiš reći?
NINA: Ja više ovako ne mogu i ne želim.
BORIS: Ne razumijem te.
NINA: Ne želim više živjeti kao ljubavnica.
BORIS: Kako misliš "ne želim živjeti kao ljubavnica", ti
moraš živjeti. Svaki čovjek mora živjeti, ma što da mu se
dogodi u životu. Jer život je... smisao života. Samo nedozreli
tinejdžeri razmišljaju o samoubojstvu kao izlazu iz problema,
samo psihički bolesnici mogu pomisliti da se nasilnim prekidom života
mogu riješiti životni problemi. Tvoja dužnost prema tebi kao
osobi, jest dužnost prema životu kao takvome, jer negacija života kao
takvoga nikada ne može biti životni cilj zdrave žive osobe.
NINA: Nisam mislila na samoubojstvo.
BORIS: Ali rekla si...
NINA: Krivo si me shvatio.
BORIS: Mislio sam da...
NINA: Ma ne.
BORIS: Znači nisi mislila na konačno rješenje, nisi zapala u
depresiju, nisi pomislila da ne možeš više živjeti.
NINA: Ja sam rekla da ne želim više živjeti kao ljubavnica,
naglasak je bio na tome "ljubavnica", a ne na "živjeti". Jednostavno:
mislim da više ne možemo na ovaj način, problem je i u formi i u
sadržaju.
BORIS: Čuj, ja te ne mogu ženiti. Imam zakonitu ženu, imamo samo taj
trosobni stan, ja i da hoću ne mogu se rastati i tebe oženiti... uz to:
s njom imam dvoje djece.
NINA: Boris, ja i ne želim da se ti rastaješ od svoje žene i da
se sa mnom ženiš. Ja to od tebe i ne tražim.
BORIS: Onda nema nikakvog problema. Već sam se uplašio da
ćeš mi postaviti neke nerealne zahtjeve.
(Boris se u jednom trenutku "izvuče" iz ove scene i obrati se na
drugačiji način, izravno publici, dok Nina ostane "zamrznuta" u
prekinutoj sceni.)
BORIS: Moram priznati da nekad, prije, dok sam živio bez ljubavnice,
moj život je bio tužan i siv. Isprazan... Najteže mi je bilo s
prijateljima s posla. Kad bismo se našli na kuglanju, svi su se
hvalili svojim ljubavnim trofejima, svojim uspjesima, svojim
doživljajima s komadima koji su im letjeli u zagrljaj, a samo se ja
nisam imao čime pohvaliti. Poželio sam nešto slagati, izmisliti
priču o nekoj avanturi koju sam kao doživio, ali sa sigurnošću
sam osjećao da bi oni znali da lažem, da izmišljam. Svi su imali
ljubavnicu osim mene. A neki su imali čak i dvije ili tri, po njihovim
riječima u koje nisam sumnjao. Bio sam tako jadan, tako nemoćan. Obuzeo
me kompleks manje vrijednosti, osjećao sam se kao bivši
pripadnik bečkog zbora malih kastrata koga su pozvali da na filmu glumi
Raspućina. Moj ego je patio, moja samosvjest je patila. Čak ni vlastitu
ženu nisam mogao pogledati u oči bez srama, jer sam osjećao da i ona na
neki intuitivni način znade da sam inferioran muškarac, čovjek
koji ne imponira ženama. A onda je poput Heliove komete u moj život
ušla Nina. Preko noći sam dobio dokaz, ne samo da sam poželjan
muškarac sposoban za status ljubavnika, nego sam shvatio da sam
u tome poslu izniman i uspješan. Ona je, jadnica, u emotivnom i
seksualnom pogledu bila totalno zakočena, bez iskustva, ili gotovo bez
iskustva. Poznate su vam one dobro odgojene mamine kćerkice koje uredno
i na vrijeme završe srednju školu i fakultet, koje se
pristojno ponašaju i znadu devedeset posto odgovora na sva
pitanja koja možete pročitati u bilo kojoj zahtjevnijoj križaljci, ali
koje ne stigoše od učenja i poslušnosti dodirnuti pravi
život. Prije mene, kroz njezin intimni život protrčala su dva
diletanta, dva nespretnjakovića, od kojih ju je onaj drugi tek u sedmom
pokušaju uspio deflorirati, ostajući joj trajno ružnom uspomenom
kakvu žene žele što prije zaboraviti. Tek sa mnom je saznala
što je to istinski muško-ženski odnos. Ja sam joj
proširio horizonte, uveo je u svijet intime i
sladostrašća. Sa mnom je osjetila što znači biti žena u
svoj svojoj biti, žena koja umije uživati u svome tijelu i koja znade
jednak užitak priskrbiti i svome partneru. Osjećao sam se sretnim i
uspješnim poput dobrog pedagoga i vrsnog didaktičara, koji s
radošću prenosi svoja znanja plahom, ali talentiranom učeniku. I
kao što kaže jedan veliki kineski filozof kome sam zaboravio
ime: "Lijepo je primati, lijepo je davati, a najljepše je
davajući primati." I sad, kada je počela govoriti da ne zna što
i kako dalje sa svojim životom, na trenutak sam se uplašio da je
doživjela neku krizu, ili razgovor s nekom iskompleksiranom ljubomornom
prijateljicom, koja je želi samo za sebe. Ali srećom, nema opasnosti.
Vjerojatno je problem samo "u onim sumornim ženskim danima slabosti",
za koje moramo imati strpljenja, jer sa sigurnošću znademo da će
brzo proći, a iza njih će bljesnuti horizont od preko dvadeset
normalnih dana, bez nepotrebnih komplikacija i prepreka na putu
našeg intimnog prožimanja.
(Boris se "vrati" u scenu s Ninom.)
BORIS: Znači ti nemaš nikakvih ekstra zahtjeva prema meni? Sve
može ostati kao do sada.
NINA: Ne može.
BORIS: Kako ne može?
NINA: Ja više ne želim biti ničija ljubavnica. Meni je dosta tog
života, tog skrivanja. Ja idućeg tjedna počinjem raditi u bračnom
savjetovalištu kao psiholog. Ja ne mogu ljude savjetovati kako
da spašavaju svoj brak, dok sam sama ljubavnica koja razara tuđe
brakove. To je nešto kao sukob interesa. Da se sazna da sam
nečija ljubavnica ostala bih bez posla. Ja ne mogu više živjeti
kao tajna ljubavnica, a još manje javna.
BORIS: Ali, ti si imala najbolji mogući status od svih ljubavnica u
Europi. Bolji i od japanskih gejši. Ja sam te vodio sa sobom
svakog vikenda u drugi grad, tebi ništa nije nedostajalo.
NINA: Hvala ti Boris za sve što je bilo, za sve gradove u
Hrvatskoj i inozemstvu u koje smo išli, da nije bilo tebe nikada
ne bih vidjela Krško, Krapinu, Zidani Most, Prelog, Čakovec,
Bovec...
BORIS: Idući vikend idem u Brežice, mislio sam da ondje proslavimo petu
obljetnicu... ti me pričekaš u motelu dok obavim poslovne
razgovore i onda...
NINA: Ne, Boris, ne! Prekidamo! Ne želim ti više biti ljubavnica
i čekati te po hotelima!
BORIS: Ali, zašto?
NINA: Znaš li ti uopće koliko ja imam godina. Znaš li?
BORIS: Znam.
NINA: Koliko?
BORIS: Pa... dvadeset i osam, dvadeset i devet. Otprilike.
NINA: Ne, dušo. Već odavno nisam u tim godinama.
BORIS: Kada smo počeli imala si dvadeset i sedam.
NINA: Meni su 32 godine, tebi 48. Ti imaš ženu i djecu: sina i
kćerku koji su studenti. A što ja imam?
BORIS: Ti imaš mene. Pa naša veza je sjajna, što
ti fali, gdje je problem?
NINA: Koliko još misliš da trebam živjeti ovako s tobom -
još godinu, dvije, deset?
BORIS: Pa... zauvijek.
NINA: E to mi se baš ne sviđa. Sedam godina sam radila u
školi kao školski psiholog - tamo sam i tebe upoznala
kada si me došao pitati kako pomoći tvome sinu i tvojoj kćerki,
koji su bili uvjerljivo najgori i najnemirniji učenici u
školi... ja sam dala sve od sebe da im pomognem, ja sam toliko
svojih kolega na koljenima molila da ih ne ruše, da imaju
razumijevanja za njihovo asocijalno ponašanje, i oboje su
završili srednju školu, zahvaljujući meni.
BORIS: Sad su studenti.
NINA: Da, sad su studenti... i taj moj angažman oko njih, to nas je
zbližilo, bilo mi je dirljivo što si ti sam dolazio pitati za
njih, što se nikada nije pojavila njihova majka, osjećala sam da
si dobar čovjek, osjećala sam da zaslužuješ ljubav, čak
priznanje, radi toga... osjećala sam se kao majka tvoje djece... i zato
sam prvi put otišla s tobom u krevet... bilo mi te žao... nisam
željela biti ljubavnica, oduzeti ženi muža, ali što je logičnije
nego da majka djece spava s ocem... i tako je to počelo... ali ja ne
mogu cijeli život biti ljubavnica, ja to ne želim, ja moram imati svoj
život, jednoga dana svoju obitelj.
BORIS: Ali meni je ovako bilo dobro.
NINA: E, meni nije.
BORIS: Ti si sebična bezobrazna razmažena žena, koja misli samo na sebe!
NINA: E pa stvarno si prasac! Ovo je kraj! Dosta mi je više
škrtog ljubavnika, koji misli samo na sebe! Zbogom!
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1. (A Museum)
(Boris, Nina)
Boris is standing in the Museum of Modern Art in front of an
abstract painting, with a small bench for visitors in front of it. He
has a newspaper under his arm. He opens the paper and starts looking
through it, and then places it back under his arm. Then he takes it out
and leafs through it again, only to replace it under his arm. He starts
examining the painting tilting his head to one side and then to the
other, because he has the feeling that it is hanging upside down.
(At that moment, Nina enters the hall.)
BORIS: Where've you been?
NINA: I couldn't find a place to park, so I had to go round the block
twice.
BORIS: You ask to meet me and then you are late. And you know how I
don't like us meeting in public places, someone could see me here in
the museum.
NINA: Come on, Boris, you know that no-one ever visits our museums. And
if anybody did see you here with me they would think that it was just a
chance meeting of two people who enjoy art.
BORIS: Alright, I agree that a museum is the safest public place but,
all the same, pensioners drift in sometimes to get warm. You never
know, a friend of mine could chance by, or, even worse, a friend of my
wife, and then... it doesn't bear thinking of... but, I had a inkling
why you didn't suggest your little flat, our love nest, I had a feeling
why you wanted me to come here and not to your place.
NINA: Did you really?
BORIS: Yes, I did, first off. You know that I am an intuitive man.
NINA: Thank God, then this talk of ours will be much easier and
simpler. I though it would be best for us to meet right here so that we
could speak openly and... and...
BORIS: And evoke everything that has happened in the past five years of
our relationship. Those tender moments... those passionate moments.
NINA: Yes... that too... but I wanted to say... we must finally...
BORIS: My dear Nina, I know you can't find the words to express
everything that you feel for me after these five years... I mean, these
five years of our love... When you told me that you wanted us to meet
here, and rejected my suggestion that I come to your place, I was
confused at first, and then I remembered - I looked in my secret
calendar with the coded dates and found that we went out right here for
the first time, five years ago. And it dawned on me that you wanted to
celebrate our anniversary... that was so moving and so romantic of you.
NINA: Well in fact I...
BORIS: I almost wept at the thought that you remembered our
anniversary, our first date.
(Boris takes an envelope out of an inside pocket and hands it to Nina.)
BORIS: Here, this if for you. A small gift for our fifth anniversary.
NINA: Oh Boris, my dear, how wonderful, you thought of me, you are so
attentive. You spent money on me even though I know you are always
short of it, and...
BORIS: No, I didn't spend anything - it's not a material present, it's
a spiritual gift. I wrote you a poem, a poem about you and about us,
for the occasion of our anniversary.
NINA: Oh, I see... I was already thinking that you had started to
change.
BORIS: Go on, read it.
NINA: Please Boris, perhaps we could talk first, and then...
BORIS: I'm impatient to see if you like it. You know: when I was young
I didn't read much poetry, literature always got on my nerves, all that
affectation. And that subject was not in the forefront at commercial
school, but still: I think I wrote the poem well, because I wrote it
from the heart since I wanted to tell you everything I feel, right from
the heart... I didn't want to buy you some trite little present - like
perfume or a bracelet, I know that modern emancipated women don't want
to feel that men spend hard cash on them, as if they are buying their
love...
NINA: Well now...
BORIS: I know that emancipated women put more store on gifts of the
spirit rather than banal material, consumer gifts. Come on now, read
it.
NINA: If I really must.
BORIS: But read it slowly so that I can enjoy the tone of your voice,
and so you don't miss anything.
NINA: I would feel silly reading your poem. It would sound better if
you, as the poet, recited it to me. That's what real writers do.
BORIS: Is that a fact?
NINA: Of course. Here's your poem; you read it to me.
(Boris starts reading.)
BORIS: "A Poem about Five Years of Love"
My dearest love
For five years now, we have been living
In a sublime state of emotion
Secretly hidden under a cover
Of rose petals
Our love must remain a secret
It must not hurt anyone
And even though you are dearer to me
Than my very own wife
You, my eternal lover
Must remain
How many times in your embrace
Have I found solace from matrimonial monotony
So many times I've felt your passion
And your tenderness
So many times I must say
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
For, to my life
You have given meaning
My sweet little one.
(A moment of silence.)
BORIS: What do you say? Is it good?
NINA: Well... it is.
BORIS: I'm so happy you like my present and that we have met here
again, after so much time, even though we said we would be careful and
not meet outside here in our town - where my wife and children live...
but a fifth anniversary deserves a little risk, a little adrenalin...
NINA: Listen, Boris, I did not want to meet you here because of the
anniversary.
BORIS: What do you mean?
NINA: I had forgotten that anniversary.
BORIS: Impossible!
NINA: Oh no, quite possible. I didn't want you to come to my flat,
because... I have wanted for some time now to speak seriously and
openly with you about everything, about us, our relationship...
BORIS: Go ahead!
NINA: I hope you care about my feelings.
BORIS: Absolutely.
NINA: I hope what I think and feel is important to you.
BORIS: That's the most important thing in my life. Your feelings are as
important to me... as my own.
NINA: I wouldn't want you to misunderstand me. It's hard to find the
words, it's hard to express it after all these years, everything that
we have gone through... the right words always elude you, but,
finally... I have to find them, and say what we must say, because that
is the only way to say what we have to say...
BORIS: What are you trying to say?
NINA: I can't and I won't go on like this.
BORIS: I don't understand.
NINA: I don't want to live as the 'other woman' any more.
BORIS: What do you mean «I don't want to live as the other woman
any more», you have to live. Every person must live, whatever
happens in life. Because life is... the meaning of life. Only immature
teenagers think of suicide as the way out of problems, only the
mentally ill could think that a violent end to life could solve their
problems. Your duty to me as a human being is a duty towards life as
such, because the negation of life as such can never be the objective
in the life of a healthy human being.
NINA: I wasn't thinking of suicide.
BORIS: But you said...
NINA: You misunderstood me.
BORIS: I thought that...
NINA: Nothing like that.
BORIS: So that means you weren't thinking of a final solution, you
haven't become depressed, you weren't thinking that you can't go on
living.
NINA: I said I don't want to live as the 'other woman' any more, with
the emphasis on "other woman", and not on "living". To put it simply: I
don't think we can go on like this, the problem is in the form and the
content.
BORIS: Listen, I can't marry you. I have a lawful wife, all we own is
that three-roomed flat, even if I wanted to I couldn't get divorced and
marry you... and beside that: I have two children with her.
NINA: Boris, I don't want you to get divorced from your wife either,
and marry me. I am not asking you to.
BORIS: Then there's no problem at all. I was worried you were going to
set me some unrealistic conditions.
(For a moment, Boris "steps out" of this scene and addresses the
audience directly, while Nina remains "frozen" in the interrupted
scene.)
BORIS: I must admit that once, before, while I lived without a
girlfriend, my life was sad and grey. Empty... It was worst of all with
my colleagues from work. When we used to go bowling, they all boasted
about their sexual trophies, their successes, their experiences with
squeezes who just flew into their arms... and I was the only one who
had nothing to boast about. I thought about lying to them, thinking up
a story about some affair I had had, but I felt sure they would know
that I was lying, that I was concocting it all. Everyone had a mistress
except me. Some even had two or three, as least that's what they said
and I had no reason to doubt them. I was no miserable and powerless. I
was overtaken by a feeling of inferiority, I felt like a former member
of the Vienna Boys Choir of young castrates who had been invited to act
in a film about Rasputin. My ego suffered, my self-confidence waned. I
couldn't even look my own wife in the eye without shame, because I felt
that she knew, in some intuitive way, that I was a second-rate man, a
man who did not impress women. And then, like Haley's Comet, Nina burst
into my life. It was proved to me over-night - not only that I was a
desirable man capable of having the status of a lover, but that I was
exceptionally successful at it. Poor thing, she was totally inhibited
in the emotional and sexual sense, without experience, or almost
without experience. I'm sure you know those well-brought-up mother's
daughters who finish school and university in good time, who have good
manners and know ninety percent of the answers to all the questions in
any crossword puzzle, but who give so much time to their studies that
they never manage to come in contact with real life. Two dilettantes
had raced through her intimate life before she met me, clumsy oafs, and
only the second one managed to deflower her on the seventh attempt,
leaving her with one of those unpleasant ongoing memories that women
want to forget as soon as possible. It was only with me that she learnt
what an authentic male-female relationship really is. I broadened her
horizons, and lead her into the world of intimacy and sensual
indulgence. With me, she felt what it means to be a woman to the very
essence of her being, a woman who knows how to enjoy her own body and
who knows how to provide equal enjoyment to her partner. I felt as
happy and successful as a good teacher, a didactician who joyfully
transfers his knowledge to a timid, but talented, student. And just as
a great Chinese philosopher says, I can't remember his name: "It is
blessed to receive, and blessed to give, but it's best of all to give
while receiving." Just now, when she started to talk about not knowing
how to go on with her life, I was frightened for a moment that she was
experiencing some sort of crisis, or had been speaking to some jealous
girlfriend, who wanted her all to herself. But, luckily, there is no
danger. The problem probably lies in "those dark and gloomy female
days", but we have to be patient because we know they definitely pass
quickly, and then we have the bright horizon of more than twenty normal
days, without any unnecessary complications and obstacles standing in
the way of our intimate permeation.
(Boris "returns" to the scene with Nina.)
BORIS: So does that mean you don't have any extra demands on me?
Everything can stay as it has been until now.
NINA: No, it can't.
BORIS: What do you mean, it can't.
NINA: I don't want to be anyone's fancy woman any more. I have had it
up to here with that life, all that sneaking around. Next week I start
working as a psychologist at the Marriage Guidance Centre. I can't
advise people on how to save their marriages, while I am the other
woman who is destroying another woman's marriage. It's something like a
conflict of interest. I would lose my job if anyone found out. I am not
prepared to go on living as a secret mistress, and even less as a
public one.
BORIS: But you have had the best possible status of all the 'other
women' in Europe. Even better than a Japanese geisha. I have taken you
with me to a new town every weekend, you have lacked for nothing.
NINA: Thank you, Boris, for everything you have done for me, for all
the towns in Croatia and abroad that we visited. If it weren't for you
I would never have seen Krško, Krapina, Zidani Most, Prelog,
Čakovec, Bovec... [all provincial towns in Slovenia and Croatia]
BORIS: I am going to Brežice next weekend and I thought we could
celebrate our anniversary there... you wait for me at the motel while I
hold some business meetings and then...
NINA: No, Boris, no! We are breaking up! I don't want to be your lover
and wait around for you in hotels!
BORIS: But why?
NINA: Have you any idea how old I am?
Do you know?
BORIS: Yes, I do.
NINA: And how old would that be?
BORIS: Well... twenty-eight, twenty-nine. Around that.
NINA: No, sweetheart. Some time has passed since I was that age.
BORIS: When we started you were twenty-seven.
NINA: I am 32 and you are 48. You have a wife and children: a son and a
daughter who are students. And what do I have?
BORIS: You have me. Our relationship is wonderful, what else do you
need, where's the problem?
NINA: How much longer do you think I should live like this with you -
another year, two, or ten?
BORIS: Well... forever.
NINA: That's exactly what I don't intend to do. I worked as a school
psychologist for seven years - that's where I met you when you came to
ask me to help your son and your daughter, who were definitely the
worst and most troublesome pupils at our school... I did everything I
could to help them, I went down on my knees to beg so many of the
teachers not to fail them, to have understanding for their antisocial
behaviour - and they both completed secondary school thanks to me.
BORIS: They're university students now.
NINA: Yes, now they're students... and that's what brought us together,
my commitment to them. I found it touching that you came to ask about
them, while there mother never did. I felt that you were a really good
man, I felt you deserved love, even recognition, for that very
reason... I felt like the mother of your children... and that's why I
went to bed with you the first time... I felt sorry for you... I never
set out to be the other woman, to steal some woman's husband, but what
is more logical than that the mother of the children sleeps with their
father... and that's how it started... but I can't be the other woman
all my life, I just won't, I have to have my own life, and my own
family one day.
BORIS: But I was pleased with the way things were.
NINA: But you see, I wasn't...
BORIS: You are a selfish, rude, spoilt woman who only thinks of herself!
NINA: And you really are a pig! That's it! I have had my fill of a mean
lover who thinks only of himself! Ciao!
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